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Showing posts with label gay humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay humor. Show all posts

Sunday, August 19, 2007

OPEN MOUTH ~ INSERT PENIS

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I've previously written about married, Florida Republican State Representative Bob Allen, who offered an undercover policeman $20.00 to perform oral sex and then went on to say the reason he made this offer was because the park where he was going to use the mens room [cruising], was full of big black men and he was scared; angering the black community ....... well it seems he has now angered the Latino community as well.

Florida Rep. Bob Allen, stripped of his committee assignments this week by a House speaker seeking his resignation over his gay sex scandal, instead made more enemies with an apparent slur against Florida's Latino leadership. "I would think this leadership more than anyone would think that we don't want to copy totalitarian governments but copy American principles," Allen told the Miami Herald on Wednesday in an apparent reference to House Speaker Marco Rubio being Cuban-American.

Allen was forced to backpedal as yet more of his fellow Republicans called for his head.

"The fact that he's comparing the consequences of the allegations of his sexual misconduct to the plight of dissidents trapped in Castro's gulag is at best absurd and at worst insulting. He needs to go," Rep. Carlos Lopez-Cantera, R-Miami, told the Herald, adding that Allen's comments made him "physically irked."

The party leadership wants Allen to resign before his Aug. 23 arraignment on a misdemeanor charge of solicitation to commit prostitution.

Even Gov. Charlie Crist weighed in, telling the Orlando Sentinel that "I have to respect the wishes of the speaker. . . . It's a House issue."

Allen, R-Merritt Island, was arrested July 11 outside a Titusville park public restroom after allegedly offering a male undercover officer $20 and oral sex.

The lawmaker, who last year co-sponsored legislation to tighten penalties for public sex and indecent exposure, insists he is innocent, and said last month that his actions were prompted by fear because the undercover cop and passersby were all black.

"The House will continue to respect Rep. Allen's right to defend himself against the charges which arose when he was arrested," Rubio's office said in a statement.

"However, we must acknowledge that in addition to being a private citizen, he is a public official. As such, we are judged by a higher standard than procedural innocence. . . . It is my personal belief that because of the allegations against him, Rep. Allen can no longer effectively serve the people of his district in the Florida House."

Allen told the Sentinel that he was "the most misunderstood guy on Earth.

"Never was I trying to ever say Marco is the new Fidel. That's the most insulting thing you can tell anyone in Miami," Allen said. "I would have used North Korea if I thought more."

Monday, July 02, 2007

GAYS ONCE AGAIN RESPONSIBLE FOR DISASTERS!

Pictured at left with the former mistress/present wife of Prince Charles, Graham Dow seems to have no problems with adultry, while blaming gays for the recent disasters in the UK.

A senior Church of England bishop says floods that have caused widespread damage in the UK are the result of God's wrath on a permissive society that endorses gay right.

"We are in serious moral trouble because every type of lifestyle is now regarded as legitimate," the Rt Rev Graham Dow, Bishop of Carlisle, told the Sunday Telegraph.

"In the Bible, institutional power is referred to as 'the beast', which sets itself up to control people and their morals. Our government has been playing the role of God in saying that people are free to act as they want," he told the paper, adding that the introduction of recent pro-gay laws undermines marriage.

"The sexual orientation regulations [which give greater rights to gays] are part of a general scene of permissiveness. We are in a situation where we are liable for God's judgment, which is intended to call us to repentance."

Dow is a leading church conservative. The worldwide Anglican denomination has been engaged in a feud between conservatives and liberals over the role of gays in the faith since the American branch, the Episcopal Church, elected Gene Robinson, an openly gay man, as bishop of New Hampshire in 2003.

Some church conservatives want the Episcopal Church expelled from the Anglican communion.

In May Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, the titular leader of the worldwide church, told Robinson he was not invited to a conclave of bishops to be held in London. Last week Williams backtracked slightly saying Williams could attend the session but only as a non voting observer.

Bishop Dow's remarks Sunday are likely to add fuel to the already enflamed divisions within the denomination.

Gay members of the Church of England on Sunday expressed their outrage.

The Gay and Lesbian Humanist Association called Dow a "bronze age primitive".


365gay. com

It is certainly refreshing to read that not all of the RELIGIOUS NUTZOIDS are located in America; but evenly distributed throughout the world!

Thursday, June 07, 2007

WE'VE COME A LONG WAY BABY!

As we approach the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots I found this article to be both sad and amusing.....

Homo Nest Raided, Queen Bees Are Stinging Mad
Reprinted from "The New York Daily News," July 6, 1969
By JERRY LISKER

She sat there with her legs crossed, the lashes of her mascara-coated eyes beating like the wings of a hummingbird. She was angry. She was so upset she hadn't bothered to shave. A day old stubble was beginning to push through the pancake makeup. She was a he. A queen of Christopher Street.

Last weekend the queens had turned commandos and stood bra strap to bra strap against an invasion of the helmeted Tactical Patrol Force. The elite police squad had shut down one of their private gay clubs, the Stonewall Inn at 57 Christopher St., in the heart of a three-block homosexual community in Greenwich Village. Queen Power reared its bleached blonde head in revolt. New York City experienced its first homosexual riot. "We may have lost the battle, sweets, but the war is far from over," lisped an unofficial lady-in-waiting from the court of the Queens.

"We've had all we can take from the Gestapo," the spokesman, or spokeswoman, continued. "We're putting our foot down once and for all." The foot wore a spiked heel. According to reports, the Stonewall Inn, a two-story structure with a sand painted brick and opaque glass facade, was a mecca for the homosexual element in the village who wanted nothing but a private little place where they could congregate, drink, dance and do whatever little girls do when they get together.

The thick glass shut out the outside world of the street. Inside, the Stonewall bathed in wild, bright psychedelic lights, while the patrons writhed to the sounds of a juke box on a square dance floor surrounded by booths and tables. The bar did a good business and the waiters, or waitresses, were always kept busy, as they snaked their way around the dancing customers to the booths and tables. For nearly two years, peace and tranquility reigned supreme for the Alice in Wonderland clientele.

The Raid Last Friday

Last Friday the privacy of the Stonewall was invaded by police from the First Division. It was a raid. They had a warrant. After two years, police said they had been informed that liquor was being served on the premises. Since the Stonewall was without a license, the place was being closed. It was the law.
All hell broke loose when the police entered the Stonewall. The girls instinctively reached for each other. Others stood frozen, locked in an embrace of fear.

Only a handful of police were on hand for the initial landing in the homosexual beachhead. They ushered the patrons out onto Christopher Street, just off Sheridan Square. A crowd had formed in front of the Stonewall and the customers were greeted with cheers of encouragement from the gallery.

The whole proceeding took on the aura of a homosexual Academy Awards Night. The Queens pranced out to the street blowing kisses and waving to the crowd. A beauty of a specimen named Stella wailed uncontrollably while being led to the sidewalk in front of the Stonewall by a cop. She later confessed that she didn't protest the manhandling by the officer, it was just that her hair was in curlers and she was afraid her new beau might be in the crowd and spot her. She didn't want him to see her this way, she wept.

Queen Power

The crowd began to get out of hand, eye witnesses said. Then, without warning, Queen Power exploded with all the fury of a gay atomic bomb. Queens, princesses and ladies-in-waiting began hurling anything they could get their polished, manicured fingernails on. Bobby pins, compacts, curlers, lipstick tubes and other femme fatale missiles were flying in the direction of the cops. The war was on. The lilies of the valley had become carnivorous jungle plants.

Urged on by cries of "C'mon girls, lets go get'em," the defenders of Stonewall launched an attack. The cops called for assistance. To the rescue came the Tactical Patrol Force.

Flushed with the excitement of battle, a fellow called Gloria pranced around like Wonder Woman, while several Florence Nightingales administered first aid to the fallen warriors. There were some assorted scratches and bruises, but nothing serious was suffered by the honeys turned Madwoman of Chaillot.

Official reports listed four injured policemen with 13 arrests. The War of the Roses lasted about 2 hours from about midnight to 2 a.m. There was a return bout Wednesday night.

Two veterans recently recalled the battle and issued a warning to the cops. "If they close up all the gay joints in this area, there is going to be all out war."


Bruce and Nan


Both said they were refugees from Indiana and had come to New York where they could live together happily ever after. They were in their early 20's. They preferred to be called by their married names, Bruce and Nan.
"I don't like your paper," Nan lisped matter-of-factly. "It's anti-fag and pro-cop."

"I'll bet you didn't see what they did to the Stonewall. Did the pigs tell you that they smashed everything in sight? Did you ask them why they stole money out of the cash register and then smashed it with a sledge hammer? Did you ask them why it took them two years to discover that the Stonewall didn't have a liquor license."

Bruce nodded in agreement and reached over for Nan's trembling hands.

"Calm down, doll," he said. "Your face is getting all flushed."

Nan wiped her face with a tissue.

"This would have to happen right before the wedding. The reception was going to be held at the Stonewall, too," Nan said, tossing her ashen-tinted hair over her shoulder.

"What wedding?," the bystander asked.

Nan frowned with a how-could-anybody-be-so-stupid look. "Eric and Jack's wedding, of course. They're finally tieing the knot. I thought they'd never get together."

Meet Shirley


"We'll have to find another place, that's all there is to it," Bruce sighed. "But every time we start a place, the cops break it up sooner or later."
"They let us operate just as long as the payoff is regular," Nan said bitterly. "I believe they closed up the Stonewall because there was some trouble with the payoff to the cops. I think that's the real reason. It's a shame. It was such a lovely place. We never bothered anybody. Why couldn't they leave us alone?"

Shirley Evans, a neighbor with two children, agrees that the Stonewall was not a rowdy place and the persons who frequented the club were never troublesome. She lives at 45 Christopher St.

"Up until the night of the police raid there was never any trouble there," she said. "The homosexuals minded their own business and never bothered a soul. There were never any fights or hollering, or anything like that. They just wanted to be left alone. I don't know what they did inside, but that's their business. I was never in there myself. It was just awful when the police came. It was like a swarm of hornets attacking a bunch of butterflies."

A reporter visited the now closed Stonewall and it indeed looked like a cyclone had struck the premisses.

Police said there were over 200 people in the Stonewall when they entered with a warrant. The crowd outside was estimated at 500 to 1,000. According to police, the Stonewall had been under observation for some time. Being a private club, plain clothesmen were refused entrance to the inside when they periodically tried to check the place. "They had the tightest security in the Village," a First Division officer said, "We could never get near the place without a warrant."

Police Talk


The men of the First Division were unable to find any humor in the situation, despite the comical overtones of the raid.
"They were throwing more than lace hankies," one inspector said. "I was almost decapitated by a slab of thick glass. It was thrown like a discus and just missed my throat by inches. The beer can didn't miss, though, "it hit me right above the temple."

Police also believe the club was operated by Mafia connected owners. The police did confiscate the Stonewall's cash register as proceeds from an illegal operation. The receipts were counted and are on file at the division headquarters. The warrant was served and the establishment closed on the grounds it was an illegal membership club with no license, and no license to serve liquor.

The police are sure of one thing. They haven't heard the last from the Girls of Christopher Street.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

A Bacon and Cheese Omelet and .........SEX?

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I've finally come to the conclusion that I'm much more "romantic" in the morning than in the evening.

This could possibly be the result of having to work six day weeks recently, coming home exhausted with only one desire.... sleep. Waking up refreshed, the mind wanders to other activities.

Sunday morning, a beautiful sunny day with a cool breeze coming in off the Gulf, I decided to take a relaxing stroll thru the park. There were several people working on summer tans, lying on beach towels enjoying the sunshine; including the "Gypsy Prince", sleeping soundly.

I was going to wake him up but feeling a bit romantic, chose instead to serve him "breakfast on towel".

I walked to a nearby restaurant, ordered two full breakfasts, juice and coffee to go and made my way back to the park.

I sat on the grass next to the "Gypsy Prince" and quietly said, "breakfast is served". He woke up smiling in recognition and said: "the coffee smells good, but I had breakfast before coming to the park".


Dammit, dammit, dammit!

We had coffee, I ate breakfast and fed the remainder of this feast to the seagulls.

We talked for a while and after making arrangements to meet that evening at a local club, I left to go shopping.

By the time the Prince called to confirm our date, I had already decided that I was just too tired to go out or to entertain a guest that evening. I just wanted to spend a quiet evening at home, alone with the dogs...... and I did.

We've dated twice since the Gypsy Prince re-surfaced. I know he'll be heading for parts unknown again soon.


Hopefully, we'll get together again before he makes his next move.